“Truth and reconciliation” – it felt like an interesting phrase after everything that’s been said in the past two weeks, but it came from a source close to the current Sentebale team, when I asked if they could really see any chance of rebuilding what has gone wrong.

It’s been explosive. First, Prince Harry and Prince Seeiso, the founders, said they’d taken the “heartbreaking” decision to step away in solidarity with the trustees, who had found working with the chair Dr Sophie Chandauka “untenable”. Then Dr Chandauka, speaking to Trevor Phillips on Sky News last Sunday, accused Prince Harry of “harassment and bullying at scale“.

A source close to the charity’s former trustees described her allegations as “categorically false” and “completely baseless”.

This week I’ve been in communication with those on both sides. The acrimony and anger have been palpable, but equally clear from my conversations has been the desire on all sides to try and explain what they feel caused this catastrophic breakdown.

All parties are keen “that polo match” doesn’t become the distraction – the match where it looked like Dr Chandauka and the Sussexes had fallen out. All of those involved want that to be put to one side, as they tell me there are much more fundamental questions that need to be answered.

Taking on board everything I’ve been told, you can largely boil it down to three main areas.

How was the charity being run? I’ve been told work had been going on for some time internally to look at the governance of Sentebale. Was the current setup – how it was being run and the composition of the chair, trustees and the people in those roles – appropriate for a charity heading towards its 20th anniversary?

What was the future for Sentebale? Set up because of a genuine heartfelt desire to help young people in Lesotho with HIV and AIDS, was it time for them to broaden that remit? Were there obstacles to those changes happening? But also did it really need to fundamentally change?

And financially what was going on? Again a lot has been said by both sides about money spent on consultants’ fees, and who may have been responsible for sponsors stepping away, and fundraising levels falling.

On Friday, the Charity Commission confirmed it has now opened a compliance case to assess concerns raised about the charity.

In a statement, Dr Chandauka said: “We hope that, together, these actions will give the general public, our colleagues, partners, supporters, donors and the communities we serve comfort that Sentebale and its new board of trustees are acting appropriately to demonstrate and ensure good governance and a healthy culture for Sentebale to thrive.”

Prince Harry’s statement, also representing Prince Seeiso and the former trustees, said: “We share in the relief that the Charity Commission confirmed they will be conducting a robust inquiry. We fully expect it will unveil the truth that collectively forced us to resign. We remain hopeful this will allow for the charity to be put in the right hands immediately, for the sake of the communities we serve.”

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One insider, still working for the charity, did tell me they still had some hope that there may come a time when there would be some form of “truth and reconciliation process”. They added that they have always felt “if you keep your eye on the charitable objective, then I’ve often found everything falls into place”.

Ultimately, at times this week, it has felt like that has been lost from this story. With all the blame and accusations flying around, there’s been little attention on the young people they support, and those they want to help in the future, that could seriously lose out.

Sentebale means so much to Harry, I had in some ways expected more of a robust response to the allegations being laid firmly at his door.

In recent years, unleashed from the constraints of royal life, he hasn’t been one to hold back. But you wonder how much everything else that’s been going on at home this week prevented him from more publicly responding.

My inbox has had constant updates from Meghan’s brand “As Ever”, you have to remember this was meant to be Meghan’s big week, where her new products, including flower sprinkles and raspberry spread, finally went on sale and sold out within hours.

In some ways that context underlines one of the difficulties some have spoken to me about, with Harry living this new life.

Speak to those on both sides of this row, and one thing they will actually agree on is that Harry remains a man committed to those principles of service, duty and helping others – it’s in his DNA.

But unlike when he was a working royal, commercial interests are now at play, and that may impact other aspects of his philanthropic endeavours.

Now it’s all in the hands of the Charity Commission, and for now, both sides have fallen silent.